But what you say is correct James. They are being given to you by your soul to help you uncover the truth of yourself, so really all your bad feelings are your friends, and are, because THEY ARE YOU. And don’t you want to be a friend to yourself?
I see what you mean, and if we deny our feelings, then we’re being unfriendly and unloving to ourselves.
Yes, that’s right; and your healing, and why we stress that it’s about accepting your bad feelings instead of doing all you can to reject them, is really the way to truly accept yourself, to be as self-loving as you can. Your bad feelings, those repressed within you, are there for very valid reasons, they are not something that’s afflicting you for no reason. And they are trying to alert you to the fact that something is very wrong with you - within you, and so you should heed their warning. And you can only do this by accepting them, for if you continue to reject them, then you are not listening to your own inner warning signals and so will continue to suffer accordingly. However, as you’ve been so heavily programmed not to listen to your bad feelings, to what they are trying to make you feel and so understand about yourself, doing all you can to keep as far away from yourself as you can, so it’s very difficult to suddenly stop being how you are, all how you only know to be, and go the other way and start accepting them. This being the struggle you face in your healing. Your greatest obstacle is of course your own mind, it being full of the beliefs that say feeling bad is wrong: you must not let yourself feel bad, so you must do all sorts of things to keep feeling good, and these are your real barriers you have to overcome. But like it all, you don’t overcome them by using your mind to have power over them, this is only doing more of the same feeling-rejection to yourself; and so all you do, as all you can do, is accept that you feel this way, speaking about and longing for the truth of all you are feeling.
So through my healing I’m only fighting against myself, my feelings verses my mind.
And when I say fight, once again I don’t mean by using your mind to do it, you fight a peaceful fight of acquiescence and acceptance. You look at Jesus’ example, he didn’t fight his accuses and those who sort to deprive humanity of the Living Truth. He went along with them, as he and I have not fought evil, we’ve gone along with it, just expressing our feelings and growing in truth through our experiences with it. And so that’s what you can do too, you don’t actually do any fighting, you simply submit to your feelings allowing them to make you feel as bad as they will, but all the while speaking about how bad you feel whilst seeking the truth of why you do feel so bad.
So it is love through acceptance, sort of in a passive way.
Yes, but only passive when compared to all you’re used to, where if you don’t like something or something is in your way, you bludgeon it out of the way. And in fact the submitting to your bad feelings is very active, for as you and Marion are finding it actually takes all your strength and will and determination to keep submitting to them, to not do what your mental programming wants to do; and to keep longing for the truth. It only seems passive because you’re going the other way, and not blasting out there into life like you’ve been trained and are expected to do, carving your way into Creation using your mind to control everything. You are stepping back, giving in to your feelings, and allowing them to guide you, which then leads you through life in accordance with the inner desires of your soul, helping you grow within yourself as you express all your personality attributes. And once your healing has been completed, then you’ll be able to enjoy being fully active in your souls growth knowing and feeling you are being guided by your soul.
So our persisting on seeing our bad feelings as being the enemy, the devil, even as being evil, is our missing the whole point of them.
Yes, which is exactly the same as parents accusing their children of being those same things, missing the whole point of their children. Children, because they’ve not learnt how to conform to the negative state, therefore show it up, threaten it, and in doing so, make their parents feel threatened and scared, because they can’t be like that or they themselves will get into trouble. So they think their children are the cause of their feeling bad and then have to stop their children making them feel bad, when really it’s all within themselves, they already feeling bad and their children are only helping them to see that. The child, until it’s fully corrupted, it truer and purer than its parents, and so truth-seeking parents could gain much help from their children making them feel bad, all so they can use those bad feelings to uncover the truth of their falseness. And of course by doing so, and so looking at their children in much the same light as we were talking about your compulsions, would not damage their children as much, leaving their children freer to grow up without all the parental interference.
Marion and I did that with Potsy our little grey cat. She was like our ‘child’ in that we never reprimanded her or tried to control her (not that you can a cat anyway), instead fully allowing her to control us. And then instead of taking our anger and frustrations out on her, we expressed (at least I tried to, Marion’s an expert at it) all our bad feelings helping us uncover the truth of them. She helped us enormously, as hard as it was with her. She was adorable, but boy did she push all our buttons. It would be very hard work with a child if you were to be left at home with it, especially if you have all my shit within you, feeling so trapped and having to give over to the little child no longer having a life of your own.
Which is how your mother felt about having you James.
Yes, I know. I’m still uncovering the truth of it, and coming to terms with what I see.
Mary, I want to change the subject a bit here, and talk about dreams as we’ve not really discussed them much and mine of late have again been so helpful to me, helping me to see the dynamics of my early relationships. Marion says it’s all within us, there waiting to be seen, and when we have a dream that we remember and need to work on by expressing the bad feelings we had in it or about it, then that truth comes to light. And this morning having discussed last nights dream, that’s exactly what I felt, so I know she is right. I used to think that in some way the dreams are given to us to help us by using them to go into ourselves to uncover something we’re to find, as if it’s being hidden from us, and we have use them to hunt around until we find the truth or understanding. But now I’ve changed to seeing them how Marion says they are, that that truth is there waiting for me, it’s next in line so to speak, and so I have a dream which helps me bring it to light, just as what happened last night, and I don’t have to do any hunting around - I don’t have to do anything other than speak about all it makes me feel and long for the truth of such feelings.
Yes James, it’s all within your soul, and your daily experiences prepare you for the next truth you are to see, as you said. And so your dreams are given to you by your soul in conjunction with your Indwelling Spirit that puts them into pictures for you to interpret; but to connect with all through your feelings, and again, NOT with your mind.
I used to try and work them out with my mind using symbology and all that sort of thing, but just speaking about all the feeling aspects of them, and looking for the truth of them, is so much easier, and does so much come to light! So often I wake up with a number of dreams still very vivid in my memory. I start with the most pressing one, and then think, god, no way can I relate to this, it’s more like something I might watch on a movie, and some of it is so clear, other parts vague. But then I start to talk to Marion about all the feelings I felt in it, and how it’s made me feel and how I now feel about it as I’m talking about it; and I long for the truth, and then before I know it, up comes the truth and, gee, remarkably it all fits, it’s the perfect dream illustrating all the parts I’m to see about myself and whoever else: mum, dad and Gran - my past relationships. They are so incredible - as dreams are. And then once I’ve seen all I am to see, it’s as if the light goes out on the dream and I no longer feel there’s anything more to speak about. And it’s onto the next feeling thing in me. But why Mary aren’t they straightforward, why are they all so symbolic?
Because when you were forming your memory and perceptions and awareness wasn’t as it is now as an adult. So you need to have fantasy situations presented to you that are representative of your how it was for you in your early life. Representative through feelings mind you, and not as actual experiences as so portrayed in the dreams. The dreams are solely to give you feelings, and to create and inner atmosphere which will help stimulate other thoughts and feelings. So you’re given adult situations in which you feel the same feelings you felt back in your early life, through which to connect your current reality with your past one. You are to connect with what you’re dreams are trying to show you through your FEELINGS, and not, once again, by using your mind to try and work them out. So like you do in your waking adult life, certain situations make you feel feelings, then you use those feelings to take you back or reconnect you with those same feelings you had a child, thereby then being able to relate to what happened to you back as a young child, as an adult, so you can interpret and so understand now as an adult all that you didn’t understand as a child.
Why can’t the angels just give us the video record of how we were, say how mum treated me in a specific situation, so I can see myself as little james being subjected to mum, thereby easily being able to see why I was feeling the feelings I am feeling.
Because that’s too much of the mind, it wouldn’t enable you to gain the truth from your soul through your feelings. That would be you outside of it all, looking at yourself and saying, ah, yes, now I see why I felt bad, the same as what those people do in their emotional cleansing and clearing. But with symbolic dreams you’ve only got your feelings to connect and guide you, so you have to use them, express them, and they will lead you into yourself to so you can connect your adult self with your young self and SEE what it is you are to see. And when that truth comes up in you, as you know, it is real and true - you know it is, and you know how you felt and how you were treated, and all the inner workings of it, so it’s not merely a mental exercise, it’s a FEELING ONE. You FEEL what happened to you.
So really the more symbolic and the harder to relate mentally to the dream, the better it is leaving only the feelings.
Yes. If you look to trying to work it out with your mind, you’re only leading yourself further away from the truth and so further into your self-denial and negative state.
And why do we only remember some dreams and not others; and why do I for example remember lots of my dreams whereas Marion hardly any of hers?
You only remember the dreams you need to help you with your feeling-healing. But mostly people discard them, not understanding their true significance. And you James are to see more of a picture of how it was for you during your forming years, whereas Marion already sees and understands most of her picture. She only needs to express all she feels through the day; whereas you need the help from your dreams to show you what you don’t know about how it was for you.
And why does Marion already know how it was for her, and I don’t?
Because of how you were treated. You were forced to put yourself, your feeling-self, aside, to become as it were, as they were, as they were feeling, this being what you and Marion are working on currently in helping you to see about yourself. So as you were saying about having the two different parts to yourself, you were forced to see yourself in a completely different light than how you are - how you feel. So you shut out and remained shut off to all such feelings, which, had you remained connected to, had you kept feeling, would have left you in no doubt as to how unloving your parents were to you. And this is what happened to Marion, she wasn’t forced to completely delude herself into believing that she was okay and her parents loved her, so she remained connected with her feelings, knowing they hated her and treated her accordingly. Her difficulty was however, that it was so horrendous for her she blocked out expressing all she felt - as she wasn’t allowed to express such feelings anyway, causing her to have her mental and emotional breakdowns. But when she got help to express herself, and she accepted that it was the way to heal herself, so she could speak about all she felt, as she was still very much in touch with and aware of her child feelings, having always felt them. And then with you, that it was right and imperative that she brought it all out, then she could start living true to her picture, finally being able to release all her repressed feelings, which she’s still doing. So she only needed the self-acceptance to let her feelings out, the feelings of her picture; whereas as you release your bad feelings, most of which you’ve had no idea were in you or that you felt, so a picture as to how it was for you has been forming, and continues to do so. And so your dreams are a vital element in this, so you can remember them. There’s really no need for Marion to remember hers as she doesn’t need to use them to help her express her repressed feelings and see the truth of what happened to her.
And Mary, do our guardian angels, as part of what they do, actually somehow record all our lives.
Not as in what you are suggesting like taking an angelic video of you which they can, if required, show you. What happens is all your experiences are recorded in your soul, and should your soul need to liberate such memories for you, then it will do so in conjunction with your indwelling spirit and angelic guardians. Your attending angelic pair are certainly witnesses to all that went on - to all that goes on, and can impart all they have witnessed should you require it, but that would be all from how they saw it, not just like a straightforward impartial and technical video as such.
So what about when it’s said that all our thoughts, words and deeds are known and recorded, or whatever it says about those things. What is that all referring to - our soul?
Firstly to the fact that it’s all within your soul, and all that’s within your soul the Mother and Father know, so God knows all. And secondly, if it be that you are to remember such things as we were just speaking about, then in conjunction with your indwelling spirit and angelic guardians, your soul can make known such things to you, you can remember them. But as you’ve longed James, to simply be able to somehow go back and watch yourself with your mother so you can see first hand how she treated you, so then knowing all you know about your feelings and yourself, to do so, would only at best be a mental exercise, as I said before. And throughout your healing you’ve been witness to unloving parents hurting their children in one way or another, all of which has made you feel very bad, and all because those things on the feelings level are what your parents did to you - how they made you feel. So you don’t actually need to see the actual pictures of yourself back with your parents, you only need to feel the feelings to connect your adult self with your child self; remembering the whole intention of your healing is just to see the truth of all you felt. You are to grow in truth through your feelings, that is why your feelings are needed, so you don’t need to be able to look at all those bad and unloving experiences again - it’s not a mental exercise or a video you can save and watch at your leisure. You’ll remember all you need to, and in time the rest will however come to you, but through your soul-perceptions as your soul expands in truth.
I understand that now. And what sort of things would require people to have memories brought back to them from their soul?
Many people when they become spirits, believe for example, that they need to see their sins and so pay for them, feel bad about them, and even be punished in some way, and so they are often given a replay of their life, and one that highlights some of the bad things they did so they can feel bad about them, and set about making amends.
One of those... what are they called... Life Recall is it, I can’t remember now.
Yes, it all flashes through their mind as if they are watching a movie of themselves, and mostly going backwards because they are then able to relate to it better, starting with themselves as an adult. They’d not be ready to see truth of it as to how their whole negative state came into being, were they to see it from their early life to their adulthood.
So it’s just what you believe. But why do some spirits I’ve read about have such an experience, it suddenly happening to them, not knowing anything prior to the experience.
Such beliefs are deeper in them, ones their indwelling spirit and angelic pair would be aware of, and so their soul orchestrates the experience for them in conjunction with their indwelling spirit. And were they to do their healing, they’d become conscious of such beliefs.
Okay, so they are unconscious of them.
And Mary, one last question, why do we need angelic guardians?
Because there might be times in your physical life when they are called upon to do something to keep you alive, should it be part of your soul-light pattern, part of your destiny, so they might have to intervene. There are also many other things they do with and for you.
But doesn’t the soul co-ordinate all of that, so if it wasn’t meant to happen it wouldn’t.
Yes James it does coordinate it all, however that’s not to say it’s also co-ordinating the life saving intervention of your angelic guardians as well. It’s all about experience James, and angels need a certain amount of experience being assigned to mortals as their guardians, and all that involves, just as you need certain experiences, some of which come about by influences from your unseen angel helpers.
So you’d really have to be an angel to know what they get out of being assigned to us.
Yes, and you can ask them. They’d be, I’m sure, more than obliging to tell you their side of things.
Well, funny you say that Mary as I’ve been thinking about doing just that lately. I haven’t spoken with my angelic guardians for ages now. I thought that after I’ve finished this writing with you and Jesus, then I will go back and re-read the book I wrote with them and see what I wrote as I can’t remember, and then see what else I might like to ask them. Anyway, it’s just another of my many ideas floating around in the back of my mind.
Mary, once again, thank you very much. I’m going now, I need to have a rest.
Speak to you soon James.